"Love Stinks"

Hey you. Welcome back.

So yes, we know that everything sucks, we’ve written about that already. But we know that you want specifics. So that’s what you’re gonna get. Love. It can be great. Everything is sunshine and unicorns. Becky gets asked on a date, the guy makes nice conversation, pays for it, and does well with her parents.

LIES. That guy is a scum and cheats on Becky. The sunshine turns to darkness and the unicorns turn into what they are: nothing. (kidding, unicorns are real don’t test me)

The J. Geils Band is an American Rock Group that was formed in 1967 in Worcester, Massachusetts. The have changed sounds several times from their start all the way up to 1985, the year of the band’s initial spilt, and beyond.

“Love Stinks” by The J. Geils Band was released in 1980. What a great way to start off the greatest decade ever (according to my mom and she is always right)… Okay, I lied. This wasn’t the best way to start out the decade. The J. Geils Band produced this album about two years after their first EMI album, and it really doesn’t feel up to date, you don’t think of typical 80s music when listening through this album, there is a lot of synth that you would expect more in 70s music. And hey, that not all their fault, it’s 1980. The first year in the decade. You can’t expect someone to pull a brand new sound out of their ass outta nowhere.

Really, this album is filled with cheese. From the first song “Just Can’t Wait” to the title track “Love Stinks”, it feels like the singer, Peter Wolf, is being dramatic over parents, love, and really all the bad things that could happen in relationships.  I love cheese, and I think cheese should be served with every meal: cheddar, provolone, swiss… but I digress. While cheese can be good, I think they’re trying too hard to be relatable.

Let me put it this way: a multi-million dollar band with a bunch of grown adults creates an album that seems to try to relate to teenagers. On top of that, the tone of the music doesn’t back up the lyrics. Take the first song “Just Can’t Wait” for example. This song is about the singer liking this girl, but her daddy keeps saying no to their relationship. It seems like a decent approach on paper. But when you put the lyrics and music together, it seems shallow. The synth and keyboard really doesn’t fit the feel of longing for something you can’t have. I counted how many time The J Geils Band said “just can’t wait” in the song “Just Can’t Wait”. It was TWENTY TIMES. Golly Gee, mister. This theme of shallowness and awkward choice in music is a constant throughout the album.

Although the awkwardness is a theme, the music changes in the album. Not like a normal change. Like, I am utterly shocked that some of these songs are on the same album. I don’t know what stuff they were smoking, but how in the world do you put “Love Stinks”, arguably the second most popular song the J. Geils Band has ever produced, a head-nodding, toe-tapping anthem to heartbreak, on the same album as “No Anchovies, Please”? I don’t even know where to start on this one. “No Anchovies, Please” is also about love… I think. It’s about a couple from Portland, Maine. Peter Wolf practically talks the whole song. There isn’t synth, there isn’t really a big melody. It’s just… a story with some music in the background. What the hell. Not that this was a bad song, don’t get me wrong. I think it is very unique and poetic, but I do not think it has any place on this album. The title, the sound, and the tone all are vastly different than what we expect.

Overall, this album did what it was intended to do, make The J. Geils Band known. The song “Love Stinks” was a success and still makes its way into the music and commercial scene today (think those old Swiffer commercials). That being said, I wouldn’t say the album was well put together. It feels disconnected and discombobulated. There is a huge variety of music on this album, and if you like that, cool. But they didn’t stick to one common sound in the album and that made it confusing.

But hey, love stinks. It can make you scattered and emotional. And that’s what this album was.