Everything Sux
The guitar. Wow. A thing of beauty. You can practically feel the aggressiveness in the strumming. Not only the guitar, but EVERYTHING is aggressive in this song. The drummer comes in and just wails. Those drums insulted his momma, her momma, and their momma's momma. Like dude, I love it don't get me wrong. But a full minute and a half of flailing your extremities. Bravo. For real though, My favorite part of this song is how it's relatable. Us normal people in the normal world don't know about crashing our Lambos or sexing up so many pretty young things. But we DO know about waking up on the wrong side of life and our car not working. The Descendents make the everyday struggle of a sucky life relatable and something we can rock out of.
I'm The One
What?! A love song on this album? This seems out of place.
Well, it isn't.
Nice guys always finish last and this guy is one of those. You know that the singer is agitated with his luck, but the instruments aren't as aggressive as they are in "Everything Sux". This is pretty close to as sentimental as The Descendents are gonna get. The singer wants this dynamite gal but the dynamite gal is apparently into huge dicks, which isn't what the singer specializes in. Hey unspoken woman, learn to choose better men. God. Oh, the trials of love.
Coffee Mug
Goodness. This song is literally 35 seconds of pure perfection.
Rundown: when life is shitty. Coffee, coffee, coffee.
Rotting Out
This song actually starts to address the problems you face in your life. It's a fool-proof plan. Sweep everything under the rug. What problem do you sweep under the rug? "Your fucked up family". Granted, in the song, The Descendents admit that sweeping these problems under the rug will cause more problems down the road. But forget all that long-term crap. live in the moment. Live in the moment with that killer ride cymbal and punkilicious guitar.
Sick-O-Me
This song is like the flip-side of "I'm The One". This time, instead of the dynamite gal liking douche-canoes, the singer kind of thinks he's a mini douche-canoe. He's insecure about himself as person, so he's practically begging this chickadee to not get sick of it. I feel that. Like we all deal with our own stupid little things about ourselves. Like... what if no one reads my blog though...
Caught
This song is certainly the most unique sound up to this point in the album. The bass guitar is much more prevalent than the other songs, and it starts the song, this probably made the bassist feel a lot better about himself. This song goes on and on about being caught red-handed is the only real crime in the world we life in. I don't really like this song based on its repetitiveness and the random change of how the world sucks. Come on, guys, we need more relatable, I-hate-*insert scenario here* stuff.
When I Get Old
This song is a great change of pace. Not a change of theme, but change of pace. I'm not crazy, we all need to continue to bitch about things. This time: the aging process. Getting older is something that is undeniable for everyone, but that doesn't stop us from the normal insecurities of it. The singer doesn't want to be a normal, stupid adult. He doesn't know what he wants, only what he doesn't. Musically, this song is refreshing to our ears. After practically the whole album of fast-paced, this song is felt in 4/4 time. (WOW A MUSICAL TERM. It's okay I'll explain) It practically means that this song is a little more chill than the others. Which is dope, because telling everyone about how everything sucks so much is exhausting and it warrants a slower pace from time to time.
Doghouse
YES YES YES. The ultimate F-U to society. This is what I'm talking about. The singer is practically saying, "Ok, you think I'm a worthless dog? Fine! I'll be the epitome of what you dread in a youth. You're living in my doghouse now. Ha. That's what you get, ya slack-jawed, mouth-breather."
We all agree that adults and authority and people in society suck. And when they tell you who YOU are without them knowing you, sometimes they deserve to be pissed off.
She Loves Me
Ugh. Another love song. Why is love so damn song-able? We get it. You know she loves you, but she won't admit it. Wow. So deep. So passionate. So edgy. *entire body eye-roll*
Hateful Notebook
I am legit confused on this one. It is musically pleasing and we have our first occurrences of prolonged drum riffs, which I love. But the song itself is confusing. He, a self-proclaimed stoner, is trying to figure out what is in this little girls book. This book controls this entire girls being. So you have this somewhat creepy struggle in wanting to know something that you just aren't being allowed to know. That sucks. But seriously, bro., you don't know what's in that notebook. Maybe it's best to keep it that way.
We
So how do you cope with all this crap that's been going on in this album?This song.
It's all going to be okay, especially if you find someone else to tackle things with.
Eunuch Boy
What. The. Actual. Hell.
This Place
This song epitomizes what this album is (other than the first song, obviously). Your job sucks, your boss is a dickhead, and you literally have to LEAVE THE ROOM because the people you've surrounded yourself with actually make you sick. The Descendents are straight savage and they're saying what everyone feels, but never wants to say.
I Won't Let Me
Aaaaaaaand we're back to the coping. We're going full circle here, folks. This song is how we should all approach life. The singer knows he faces temptations, depressions, apathy, and all this other crap that has been accumulated in this album, but he doesn't fall into that because he knows he is smarter than that and he has someone who is worth fixing yourself for. If The Descendents can do it, you bet your ass that you can too. You got this.
Thank You
I could not think of a better way to end this album. The Descendents tackled a lot of relatable problems, and offered ways of how to cope with them. And to end, they are thanks this unknown person for getting them through all the shitty times that they've been through this album. Knowing who the person they are talking about is irrelevant. This person has helped the singer through his struggles, and this makes a fabulous caboose on the Screw It Train.
Yes. Life sucks. But finding someone who will help you get through it will make coping so much easier. But until then, keep on complaining. The Descendents make it REALLY easy with this album.
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